It's my second time finishing the book about Charlie.
I love reading books more than one time so that I could absorb as much information as I can because usually, on my second and third reading, that's when realization comes into mind and then I'd be able to see myself as the character or maybe someone related to him or her.
Early last night, while we were on our way home from Bicol, I read the last part of this novel turned movie. I was on the bus, looking at the bright lights and dark road through the foggy window. I can't say I felt infinite that time. The bus driver was scaring the bejeesus out of me. To be exact, I felt like my life was too finite. It was too exact. It was too short.
And then I remember all about being a wallflower. Someone people usually forgets to invite when your group of friends decide to go out for dinner or something. Someone people don't usually notice is in the room. Someone who is always listening because he knows that if he starts speaking, it's either a very corny joke or something people just aren't too interested to hear. I sometimes feel bad about it. I would often get into "tampo" mode because then I would know to myself how little my existence meant to those people. But then, I would say to myself that I'm lucky enough to be associated to such amazing people. I'm pretty sure they would see my blog post update over at Google +, but there's like a 99% chance they'd just read the title and then go on with their busy lives.
It is rather surprising to me how similar my life has been with Charlie. Albeit the fact that I'm the oldest among four children and doesn't smoke nor do drugs, some of our experiences, good and bad are the same.
To put things in simple words.
I also had an Aunt Helen.
Only, they're two Uncles.
I'm not gonna write more about that because I have forgiven them for what they've done years ago. Thankfully, it didn't affect me as much as it did Charlie. But it did make me stupid enough to experience what his sister went through with her first hippie boyfriend.
Never again.
